It wasn’t because of the cute way she walked
It wasn’t because the sweet way she talked
It wasn’t because of her big beautiful eyes
It wasn’t because I gave her candy and told her lies
It wasn’t because I didn’t feel love at all
It wasn’t because of my problems or my back was against the wall
It wasn’t because I could sneak in her room at night
It wasn’t because I did things to her that wasn’t right
It wasn’t because her mother couldn’t hear her cries as she slept
It wasn’t because I threaten her, if our secret she had not kept
It may because that when I was small, it’s the same things my parent would do
But in today’s world people would say a mother wouldn’t do that to you
It may because many nights she came in my room and wouldn’t let me be
But I want you to know that it can happen to you just like it happen to me
It may because I’m telling you to check on your kids at night
You may save them from having this demon I have to fight
Now they say its okay for me to tell
But, this is the only way I can without going to jail
WRITTEN BY TJ-OHIO
I CAN’T EXPLAIN
I can’t explain why I do the things I do
I can’t explain why I scream, beat and hurt you
I can’t explain why I quickly loose my cool
All I know, you’re my child acting like a fool
I can’t explain all the feelings I have deep inside
I can’t explain how many times I wished I could just die
I can’t explain why I just can’t get it together
I can’t explain why I blame you for even the bad weather
I can’t explain why I can’t give you all of my love
I can’t explain why my prayers aren’t answer from above
I can’t explain why I haven’t gotten the help I need yet
Because when I hurt you, I have sorrow and lot of regret
I can’t explain all the anger inside of me
I just want it to go away and just let us be
I can’t explain why I do it, because I know the pain in every way
My mother scream, beat and hurt me each and everyday
WRITTEN BY CRYSTAL R.-OHIO
YOU DON’T KNOW
You don’t anything about the way I feel
You don’t know the pain in which I have to deal
You don’t know what my anger is all about
You don’t know what makes me cry, scream and shout
You don’t know anything about my anger deep inside
And if you said you did, I would say you’re telling a lie
You don’t know how angry I am at people like you
You need to back off; you don’t know that damage I can do
You don’t know anything about my self esteem or self-worth
So don’t try and tell me I can get help on this earth
You don’t know who beat me and made my eyes swell
But you stand there and say it's ok for me to tell
You don’t know that I want to believe you so bad
But, what you do know is I need love I never had
WRITTEN BY TEAR BEAR-COLUMBUS, OHIO
YOU LOWER MY SELF-ESTEEM AND RAISE MY FEARS
For a long time I walked with my head down
Locked deep in fears I could almost drown
So scared of what people might just see
The bruise, heartache and the shame deep in me
I want to fight back, honest I do
But the black and blue marks all came from you
Everyday, I prayed you change the way you are
You even told me if I run, I won’t make it very far
I wanted to run and hide some place you don’t know
But, like you said you will find me no matter where I go
I can’t go around my family and you won’t let me have friends
Under your control my joyful life had come to an end
Now I want you to know it’s not always going to be this way
Because “ok to tell” has shown me, I can have a better day
I’m now getting counseling and it’s making me stronger
Tear Bear showed me, I don’t have to take your abuse any longer
WRITTEN BY THERESA -COLUMBUS, OHIO
I WATCHED
I watched as the children play together unlike me
God is my only friend: I can leave my horrible secret with thee
I watched as a mother gave her child a warm loving kiss
The love I got was not warm, but hits and very seldom did they miss
I watched as a child would cry for their parents as they drove away
Little did anyone know, with my parent I had to pray to see another day
I watched as children come to school so healthy and clean
Since, my clothes were old and dirty they took joy in treating me so mean
I watched as the teachers would turn and look the other way
Just a word or two from them, I could have had a better day
I’m not writing just because it’s me that’s in need
I’m writing for kids like me, in hope you will do a good deed
Don’t just watch, when you see our pain and hope that things will get well
Take away the power of secrecy, reach out and let us know its ok to tell
WRITTEN BY TEAR BEAR
FATHER
ALTHOUGH YOU ARE FAR, FAR AWAY NOW
THIS I MUST KNOW,
WHY DID YOU DESTROY MY INNOCENCE
MY CHILDHOOD EBB AND FLOW,
WAS IT THE SMILE I RESERVED FOR YOU
EACH AND EVERYDAY,
OR MY TINY TORSO UPON YOUR LAP
BRINGING JOY, IN SOME UNGODLY WAY,
I NEEDED YOU TO BE MY PROTECTOR
FOR I WAS JUST SIX YEARS OLD
YET, TIME AFTER TIME, HALF PAST 1 A.M.
YOU HURT ME, THEN THREATENED ME IF I TOLD
NIGHTMARES CONTINUALLY HAUNT ME TO THIS DAY
ALTHOUGH I AM AN ADULT NOW
AND I KNOW NOT HOW TO LOVE, OR BE LOVED
YET I CARRY ON SOMEHOW,
WHAT DID I DO WRONG TO DESERVE THIS FATE
PLEASE TELL ME, SO I CAN LET THESE DEMONS GO,
ALTHOUGH YOU ARE NOW SO VERY FAR AWAY
FATHER, THIS I STILL NEED TO KNOW.
WRITTEN BY RICHARD W. JOHNSON- OHIO
MOTHER
I know you knew what was happening to me, but you pretend things were well.
Even when I told you, you made me promise I would not tell.
So night after night he would sneak into my room and do things I could hardly bare.
I felt alone with only God and a mother who did not care.
I wanted you to protect me and let them take him off to jail.
Instead, you told me without him, you're life would be a living hell.
Now with God's help he has been locked up, since somehow our secret was found out.
Yet, you treat me as a stranger and you don't know what I am all about.
Every night I can hear you cry, because now you face all your empty fears.
But, mother dear, you gave birth to me and for whom you shed your tears.
A man who came alone and made you feel less than your selfworth.
If it hadn't been for "Ok To Tell" he would have taken me from the earth.
Now before I go, I just want you to know that things will be alright.
For there are kids who need me, and for them I begin my fight.
There is not a child that can come to me and I turn my back on them.
Because, I know that the greater God is in me than the devil was in him.
I pray deep in your heart you love me and without a shadow of doubt.
If you could just turn back the hands of time, you would have put the abuser out.
Sincerely, Your daughter
THE ATTENTION LIE
I couldn't get you to even look at me
I did my best, but couldn't let you be
I wanted you around me all the time
I needed a plan to make you all mine
I just wanted you to touch me in everyway
Now, I'll be lucky to see you on my 18th birthday
I didn't mean for things to go this far
I didn't mean to upset you and have your life ajar
I didn't want them to put you in jail
I made up a story I just had to tell
You are locked up for a crime I know you did not do
But when they asked who touched me, I said it was you
Now, it's too late for me to even change my mind
If I tell the truth, it will be me doing the time
Every night and day I secretly pray
You'll find it your heart to forgive me some day
Please understand I wasn't trying to be bold
It was just and attention lie that I told
Tear Bear
HEY WORLD
Hello world, are you having fun?
By the way, did you check on your son?
He's there in the corner, by himself
Oh I know, you put him on a shelf
Know one knows, no one tells
But that little one lives in hell
Don't say to much, someone might hear
But I think he lives his life in fear
Open your eyes, then yell to the world that child been abused
Beaten, hurt and down right used
This may hurt and start a few things
But, he then can live as a human being
DEBRA BRAND
IF I HAD MY WAY
If I had my way,
There would come a day, when all mankind would be created equal.
No man would be judged by the color of his skin.
If I had my way
Young Black Males would not begin a day being looked upon with disapproval,
looks of contempt and disrespect. We would not start the day with color being an
albatross around our neck.
If I had my way
No one would be looked down upon by their fellowman no one would
ever say: Blacks are not good enough they are not a part of God's plan.
If I had my way
Being black would not hold me back, being black would just be a
color no better, no worse than any other.
If I had my way
The world would not view me as troubled, good for nothing. They
would not say today all black males are angry and violent, they have
all gone astray.
If I had my way
I would tell the world; I am, my stuggles can not consume me.
I go on because God said I can, Keeping the faith that one day I can and
will be a man!! A Godly Man.
If I had my way
I would tell all young black males not to fret, God has never failed yet.
Someday we maybe kings, able to do glorious things.
If I had my way
In spite of all the adversities, God's will, will have prevailed I will not
have failed myself, my race, my God, and yes someday I will have my way.
ETHEL B. PATILLA
LOOK AT ME
Look at me this is the person you have turned me into.
I'm shy, distant, and also failing in school.
Teachers are concerned and start to ask me questions.
All I can say is please keep me in your blessings.
Look at me or is that something you cannot do.
Because I think you're a coward. That's why you
abuse little boys and girls that are smaller than you
Those who have no voices to yell,
I thank God I finally had the strength to tell.
If you are being abused, you are not alone.
Tell someone, pick up the phone.
It will ease your soul, you wait and see
ALL I CAN SAY IS LOOK AT ME
WRITTEN BY ANGIE SEABON
WHY DADDY WHY?
There’s a deep and lingering pain inside my heart…
And I wonder where and why did it ever start?
Though I am fully grown now, with children of my own
This ache I carry with me is always such a major part.
You were my father, not my “step,” but my daddy for real…
And yet that meant nothing because my purity and virtue you chose to steal.
For thirty long years, I’ve wondered “why Daddy why?”
But you’ve chosen to ignore me and that’s why I yet cry!
I tried to talk to Mama, but she just would not hear…
I guess she had her own set of issues of pain and fear.
Did you not know that you were destroying my very life?
How could have done such evil when God had given you a wife?
What about my sisters? Did you violate their innocence too?
Did you touch them in their private parts when they were in this world so new?
We were your own flesh and blood babies…..Five girls all made by you.
Oh God Daddy why didn’t that matter? Why these horrible crimes against us did you do?
My value as a human being was ripped into shambles and torn into shreds
When you decided in your sick and tormented mind to come into my bed…
Instead of hugging me in a proper embrace, the way a father should,
You took my trust and little girl love and treated it no good!
I grew up feeling so ashamed, so used and abused, and so dirty inside…
What I didn’t know was that you were the guilty one…filled with rage and lies.
Child abuse of any kind is so wicked and so very wrong…
But unlike the caged bird who sings, from my soul Daddy, you stole my song.
But I thank my Heavenly Father for His power and grace divine…
Cause He has freed me from the shackles that were wrapped around my mind!
He heard the silence of my tears and saw the darkness in my heart…
Yet He loved me and made me believe it was possible to have a brand new start!
It took a lot of prayer, much patience with my progress, and many days of fasting too…
For God to heal my wounded spirit while He showed me how to release and forgive you.
At first, I resisted the process because it was really hard and so tedious to endure,
But the Lord comforted me and strengthened me---in grace & peace He did reassure.
Gradually, over time, day by day and moment by moment for sure…
I arrived at this river of new life and today I stand clean, victorious, and pure.
No more drugs, alcohol, or meaningless sex with men I barely know…
Cause God has appointed Goodness and Mercy to follow me wherever I go!
The Lord is my righteousness and in Him, I’m perfect and whole.
He has removed the bitter scars of abuse that had covered my soul…
He is why I have risen above the pain of my childhood past…
He is why I have forgiven you and been emancipated at last!
Now I pray for you Daddy, because I know you live a lonely life…
You have the outer trappings of success, yet much inner turmoil and strife.
One day I hope you’ll come to see the damage you did to my sisters and me…
And I hope you’ll find inner healing for your soul…I pray that you’ll be set free.
You will always be my Dad, and in spite of it all, I really do love you…
Yet I’m ever so grateful for the God of my salvation, Jehovah Tsidkenu!
He is the center of my joy and my bright morning star,
And no matter what else the future holds, He is never very far...
He leads me beside the quiet waters and pours His cleansing oil all over me. . .
And now for the rest of my life, come what may, I know I am finally free!
BY M. DENISE RODDY
